Outing myself for the asshole I may have used to be

Outing myself for the asshole I may have used to be

Growing up in the T & A 1980’s of America

The grabbiness of the european arthouse

all the juvenille jerkoff films

the naughty revenge of computer nerds

and the gosh darn it goof balls who in the end

defeated and deflated the ego’s of the jocks

were my teenage heroes

But i have to wonder if

watching hours after hours

of cable television did not corrupt me

and did watching Porky’s over and over

turn me into a pubescent hormonal pig?

When Lewis stole Stan’s Darth Vader costume

and had tricked Betty into having sex with him

in Revenge of the Nerds

was that not date rape and

why did all of us dudes

find this so funny?

I look back and reassess where

I may have digressed

how some of my behavior was not all that best,

wondering what all these films where

women were spied upon from behind peepholes,

where dresses were torn off

and where deception was used so

young men could get their dicks wet.

I wonder what did this teach us about

sex and respect.

And during those conservative PMRC Reagan years

was this some sort of failure of filmmakers,

a poisend idea of the free love 60’s

and decadance of the 70’s.

All this embarasses me now

and even though I can’t change

some of my own misbehavior

from my past

I look to teach my own nerdy son better

about sex and respect

for all of the women he may

ever have the oppurtunity to know

and possibly be intimate

with.

So they can laugh together

at their shared awkwardness

when discovering the world

of sex.