How many U.S. Senators does it take to sink a nation?

Senator from the mediocre state of Louisiana John Kennedy, Senator Roger Wicker from the mentaly challenged state of Mississippi, Senator Jim Inhofe from the inferior state of Oklahoma, Senator Tim Scott from the pseudo state of South Carolina and Senator Bob Corker from the intolerate state of Tennessee were all sitting in an inflatible life raft just off the coast of what up until a few hours before had been the east coat of the United States. Each man was attempting to get cell service for their phones but alas, there was no connection to be found. The men looked upon one another with eyes glazed over in shock. One senator passed a box of tic tacs around. Senator Corker used a black comb to fix his hair just in case there might be press whereever there boat landed. Somebody in the boat whispered something about global warming. The rest of the senators ssshhhh’ed him. Jim Inhofe said that the next person to say anything about global warming would be thrown overboard. All eyes fell upon Senator Tim Scott for he is an Afro-American. Senator Wicker thought about asking Senator Scott to sit in the back of the boat. He remembered when that was tolerated in his country. Senator John Kennedy started crying about global warming being a Chinese conspiracy while at the same time he wrapped himself up against the cold in a blanket made in China. They all agreed that the Lesbians and the Democrats were to blame. That Chuck Schumers farts were responsible for the melting of the polar ice caps. That when the life boat sprung a leak in its seams, the unholy name of the Clintons was used in an attempt to clog up the hole. And when a penguin on an ice cube drifted by, giving the senators one and all, the middle finger; well that was when Senator Tim Scott said “fuck that bitch Taylor Swift, too!”