donderdag 21 juni 2018

The universe and the elusive perfect game


So yeah, after meeting up with the universe the other day I guess the universe felt kinda guilt cause I get a call last night from the universe and it says “hey man, it was good to catch up today.  You got plans for tomorrow?  How about we go bowling?” And I’m thinking sure why not.  Bowling is not something I do often but do find fun to do now and again.  So we agree to meet at the Bison Bowl in Haarlem North.  I gotta say that seeing the universe in bowling shoes is a sight.  I was even wondering if they would have the right size.  So we get a lane and start throwing some balls just to warm up and the universe asks “shall I order some bitterballen and a pitcher of beer?” “ And I am all, wow universe you do know how to roll.” 
            The universe allows me to go first and I knock down four then three pins.  Average, for myself.  The universe steps up and well, what can you expect from the universe, rolls a beautiful massive thundering strike. The universe smiles this big self-satisfied smile and give the universe a high five.   The game goes on like this frame after frame.  I roll seven, six, maybe a nine.  The universe rolls strike after strike, smiling like a summers day.  The beer and bitterballen show up and we decide to take a little break.  “This is fun,” says the universe, taking a bite of steaming ball covered in mustard.  “Yeah it is,” I say.  “You dating anyone?”, I ask the universe.  “Nah, not right now.  No time for commitments, too arranging all this shit.”  “You watching a lot of porn then?”, I ask as a joke.  The universe almost chokes on the bitterball and laughs saying, “dude my entire existence is one big money shot. The universe is pure porn.”  We laugh and clink beer glasses.
            Last frame and I am well behind but that’s ok.  The universe steps up for its final frame and I figure ok hotshot lets see you serve up a perfect game.  And the universe lets the ball roll land right before it hits the pins, the ball swerves left into the gutter.  “Ah, fuck.”, says the universe.  I try not to laugh.  The universe steps up with its second ball and the  same exact thing happens.  “Shit.”, growls the universe walking back to the table.  “What happened?” I ask.  "Fuck I always do that, choke in the end."  "Hey man, no big deal," I say just to say anything at all. “You going to eat that last bitterball?” asks the universe not answering me.  “Nah, man it’s all you.”, I say. 
            We return our shoes and pay the bill.  The universe is generous enough to pick up the whole tab.  “Thanks.”, I say.  The universe smiles.  “We should do this again soon,” I say.  “Yeah,” replies the universe, “we should.  But how about next time we play some mini-golf?”  “I hate mini-golf,” I reply.  “Yeah, so do I actually.” answers the universe.  We say shake hands and say goodbye and I watch the universe bike off in the opposite direction, with mustard all over its face.

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