The Universe and Pina Coladas

            So, the universe and I were kicking backing, sipping on some fine Pina Coladas on a beautiful summers days.  I mean it was a really beautiful blue sky, forget your phone at home on purpose sort of day; when I say to the Universe inbetween sips of rum and coconut,

“I feel a bit gulity.” 

And the Universe says “what the fuck do you feel guilty about?”

And I say “don’t you think that we should have invited the World to join us?”

And the Universe is all like, “FUCK THE WORLD.” 

And I am all like, “dude.”  

And the Universe is like “ No, really fuck the world.  Always so caught up in its own bullshit.  I mean the World really truly must be full of contortionsists the way its got its own head up its ass.” 

And I’m like “rant much?”

And the Universe continues “No, seriously man.”

“Don’t you think its all a bit harsh?  I mean the World has got a lot on its shoulders nowadays.” 

“Nowadays, nowadays, nowadays.  It’s always nowadays when in reality its more like this is how its almost always been.  For a few exceptional moments in the history when the World showed the better side of itself but I mean the World has been allowing itself to be treated like shit for too long a time.  I mean no offense but the moment you humans started walking erect you thought the World was yours to direct.  Shit, the world was spinning counter clockwise around the sun long before humans decided it had to be otherwise.

“Shall I make us another batch of Colada’s?”

“yeah, do that please.”

“It is a beautiful day though, isn’t it?”

“For us it is.” Replied the Universe.

“Cheers to that.” I said.

“Cheers to that at least.” Said the Universe, as it licked the Pina Colada from off the stick of the cocktail umbrella. 

I smiled and wondered what the rest of my family was up to.